Wednesday, November 11, 2009

The Handsome Man's Guide To Pacquiao vs Cotto



No word of a lie, the last 2 weeks of my life have been building to one event: The Manny Pacquiao vs Miguel Cotto boxing match scheduled for this coming Saturday, November 14th at the MGM Grand in Las Vegas. I've been reading and reading and reading and watching old fights from both competitors to try
and pick a favourite. Heaven help me, I just can't do it. During my research, I expended any opportunity I could to talk boxing with my fellow man, trying to find someone else as excited about these pugilists as I was. Lo an behold, my searching led me to the most excellent Dave, from the jealousy-inducing, eye-pleasing, gift-to-the world tumblelog Go Jays Go. Imagine my mancrush, friends, that I not only found a boxing fan, but one that runs such a bad ass Jays blog. Scores all around. After about a month of exchanging giddy emails, tweets and links about the upcoming bout, Dave and I decided that we needed to share our excitement with the world. True to form, my man delivered an excellent Coles-notes catch-up guide to get you nearly as excited we are.

Behold:

The Handsome Man's Guide To Getting Pumped For The Pacquiao/Cotto Fight


Ladies and gentleman, this is it. This is where this handsome man takes a stand for a niche sport that he's been off and on with since he was a kid. Boxing has obviously fallen off since the days when it stood side by side with baseball as the top two sports in America in the '20's. It's even fallen off since Mike Tyson was getting head butted by a dirty, dirty Evander Holyfield in the late 90's.

Part of that is boxing's fault (top fighters not fighting each other, crooked judges etc...) and some of that is because mixed martial arts has stepped up to compete for the attention of fight fans. This coming Saturday, however, I would like to recommend and even beg you to turn your eyes to the boxing match between Manny Pacquiao and Miguel Cotto. Yes, this handsome man is willing to beg to make sure you have a great Saturday night. I care about you.

I am so sure this is going to be an exciting, skillful and absolute brawl of a fight that I'm willing to use this as my "this or nothing will ever do it" argument. If you take the chance and watch the fight between Cotto and Pacquiao and you don't enjoy it I will never bug you to watch another boxing match again. Hell, if someone else tries to get you to watch a fight after this just email me and I'll send a message to them explaining you gave the sport of boxing a legitimate chance and it didn't work for you.

Getting one boxing fan off your back not a good enough reason? Let me introduce you to the characters (MMA fans I've written a special letter for you below).

One of the great aspects of boxing, because it is man vs. man, is that it allows you to really get to know the people involved. One of the best aspects of being a fan of boxing is HBO does an absolutely amazing job of helping you in that area with their amazing series; 24/7. This 4 part series follows the two fighters in the months leading up to their big fight. The Pacquiao/Cotto documentary (which I
previously suggested to non-sport fans as something to watch if they were just looking for quality television), thus far, has been superb in its ability to allow the viewer to get a feel for each fighter and their respective camps as well as build the drama for the fight. Plus, it's good for a few laughs. I'm thinking of Brian, Miguel's friend and partial manager, in particular. So, obviously, I would recommend you check it out to help get you excited for the fight and gain a solid understanding of the backgrounds and personalities of the players on the stage.

Here's Episode One:



I couldn't find/make room for the rest of the episodes, but I suggest you find it on youtube, illegally download it, subscribe to HBO and watch it legally.

Here are some other quick thoughts and articles for you:

- How big of a deal is Manny Pacquiao?
He's on the cover TIME Magazine Asia edition (both for being a great fighter and humanitarian)

- Miguel Cotto lost his first fight? The man who beat him, Antonio Margarito, was
caught with plaster in his hand wraps before his next fight against Shane Mosely. Margarito, a solid puncher, but no famed knock out puncher, put Cotto in the hospital and Cotto was still bruised up weeks after the fight.... Just saying...

- Both of these fighters are
pretty much on everyone's top ten pound for pound fighters list. With Pacquiao usually taking either top or second spot and Cotto in the lower half (BUT, remember, Cotto is the larger fighter)

- Freddie Roach, Manny's famed trainer, has started
letting the smack talk fly. He says he'd bet $1000 that Cotto gets knocked out in the 1st round and that Joe Santiago, Cotto's trainer, is too young and inexperienced to do his job.

- It's ok, Cotto can handle it, he's
all kinds of witty in his second language.

-
Cotto-Pacquiao is as good as a super-fight gets and you should tell you grandmother.

- Folks, I'm serious, this fight is so evenly matched that it could
go either way. No matter what the odds makers say (Bodog has it at Manny -250, Cotto +190. Want to give me these odds? I'll gladly take Cotto)

Lastly, this match is leading up to what would be the most anticipated fight of the last 10 years. The winner of Pacquiao/Cotto will hopefully take on Floyd Mayweather (the other man at the top of the pound for pound rankings). Though Manny has said he doesn't think Mayweather wants to fight him I think this just boxer-talk. But this is another discussion for us to have once you've become, at the very least, a casual boxing fan.

So, hopefully you're now excited to watch this fight and feel prepared enough to discuss it with other patrons at your local pub. Now, if you'll excuse me, I'd like to speak to the MMA fans in the house.


Dear MMA fans:

Listen, I like MMA. I'm not a boxing fan who is going to make any homophobic comments about guys rolling around on ground. In fact, I quite enjoy the technical aspects of good jiu-jitsu and fist pump when a fighter I'm rooting for finds a way to scramble out of an arm triangle. So know I'm not trying to get you to "switch sides", I just want you to enjoy a good fight.

I know you love when two fighters throw hands. Look at the latest Strikeforce card. I heard how loudly people boo'd the Miller/Shields fight that was spent mostly on the ground. And I remember how excited people were when Rodgers and Emelianenko traded punches. In the Pacquiao/Cotto fight we have two offensively minded punchers who, because of the rules of the sport, will stand, face-to-face, and throw, hard, ridiculous combinations at each other.

You loved and were in awe of the way Anderson Silva picked apart Forrest Griffin with his fists, am I right?
Silva has been training with Manny Pacquiao's trainer, Freddie Roach and I guarantee Freddie says Manny AND Miguel can throw hands better than Silva. Obviously, it's the only thing they have to focus on, right? Well just think of how technically sound and strong these punches are going to be. And for 12 rounds!

This isn't going to be the straw-man boxing match Dana White likes to talk about. As one twitter user commented the other day "Pacquiao doesn't even know how to spell defense." There's not going to be a lot, if any, holding and leaning on each other. Don't believe me?
Miguel's greatest hits, Manny's greatest hits.

C'mon.

Love,
Dave



So, are we on for Saturday handsome men and beautiful ladies? 'Cause it's going to be spectacular.


------

Special Editors Addition:

It wouldn't be a Handsome Man's post if we didn't break it down by fashion:



Pacquaio- He's aggressive and pulls no punches. It takes a certain something to pull off a hat and a collar like that, but the meek and humble Pacquiao does it gracefully. As a man constantly in the public eye and with the weight of a nation on his shoulders, Pacquiao looks confident and at the same time carefree. Much like his blinding in-ring speed and aggressiveness, Pacquiao's outfit is coming after you.

Cotto- The man is in love with the 3 piece suit. See here for a prime example. He uses the dapper dress to look in control and intimidating, much like his stalking presence in the ring. He's not getting roped into Pacquiao's game of being the flashy showman with the paperboy hat. Instead, he's focused on unleashing devastating and unrelenting 3-piece combos.

As far as suits go, I've gotta say this is a pretty even tilt. The styles match up so well, it's hard to find an edge. For the flash that Pac-Man gives with his hat and collar, Cotto counters back with plain old strength and lethal combinations. The only thing I can do here is to try and find one definitive picture to sway my affections.



A Jays hat? Alright. You've got me, Miguel. I planned on watching this as a total impartial judge, but Dammit, I'm a homer and sucker for the throwback Jays lid.

Monday, November 9, 2009

Handsome Man's All-Star's: MLB Edition


Another glorious season of baseball has come and gone, with nothing left but a long, cold winter. In the most cliched ending possible, the New York Yankees captured their 27th World Series Championship. With the curtain closed on the 2009 Season, it's time to tip my hat to the best of the best in the Major Leagues, and appoint a few lucky gentlemen a spot on the Handsome Man's All-Star Team: MLB Edition.

Starting Pitcher: THE Roy Halladay

(Photo Courtesy: Mop Up Duty)

17-10, 2.79 ERA, 9 CG, 4 SHO, 1.126 WHIP.

Homerism aside, I want Roy Halladay on the bump for my team. There is, perhaps, a chance that the collection of handsomeness that makes up the starting lineup may have a slight preference for enjoying the spoils of fame and the nightlife, so it's imperative that the main horse on the hill is so terrifyingly focused that it scares everyone is into performing at their highest level.

Honourable Mentions: Cliff Lee, Zach Greinke, Allan James Burnett.



Catcher: Joe Mauer


.328/.408/.892, 85 RBI, 98 R


This is an easy one. Joe Mauer's swing gives me re-assurance in a high power. His sideburns are legendary. He's the best Catcher in the world, hands down. Frankly, putting anyone else in this slot would be a farce.

Honourable Mentions: Nobody even close.

First Base: Albert Pujols



.327/.443/.658, 47 HR, 135 RBI, 124 R

He could be the ugliest man in the world, Albert Pujols would still be starting at 1st for this team. If Joe Mauer's swing re-assures my faith in a higher power, Pujols' swing makes me believe that human evolution is entirely possible and likely closer than I ever thought. A practical one man gang, Pujols' patience and power make him the most terrifying part of any lineup, even this one.
Honourable Mentions: Ryan Howard, Prince Fielder

Second Base: Aaron Hill



.286/.330/.499, 36 HR, 108 RBI, 103 R

It was a breakout year for the Most Interesting 2nd Baseman in the World. A truly deserved All-Star appearance, plus some decisively solid glovework fits Hill nicely into the 2 hole in the HMAS lineup. This was a tough choice, 2nd being my favourite position and all, but Aaron Hill is totally undeniable, plus he rocks that hoodie, plus he'd totally play you a song on guitar if you were feeling down to cheer you up.
Honourable Mentions: Ian Kinsler (Who is NOT to be trifled with) and Chase Utley, who likely would have been my selection if not for his horrendous hair.


Shortstop: Derek Sanderson Jeter



.334/.406/.465, 18 HR, 66 RBI, 30 SB

Honest confession: Derek Jeter is my guy. The perfect personification for everything this team stands for. Hate him all you want, Jeter doesn't care. You're likely hating him because he's dating someone gorgeous, or his Yankees are routinely beating your team, or because you can't stand his face. Either way, Jeter's going to keep on winning and keep on not caring what you think. The King of New York, Derek Sanderson Jeter makes the list because in my lifetime of watching baseball, the team that had Jeter playing SS has won the World Series more than anyone else. We're building a winner, we're going with Jeter.
Honourable Mentions: Hanley Ramirez, Erick Aybar.

Third Base: Evan Lorgori...NOOOOOOOO



{Photo Credit: Ladies dot dot dot}

Disaster. Sorry kid, all the talent in the world won't make up for that shirt. You're cut.

Third Base: Pablo Sandoval



.330/.387/.556, 25 HR, 90 RBI, 189 H

The Kung-Fu Panda earns his spot by having one of the best nicknames in sports, coupled with being one of the most fun players in the league to watch. His enjoyably massive size alone, the Panda takes huge cuts at pretty much every pitch he sees and rumbles around the bases with relentless aplomb. Yeah, Longoria had better all around numbers, but I really, REALLY don't care. You can't have that many pictures of you in Ed Hardy pop up when I search your name and still make this team. It's like the Yankees no facial hair rule.

Honourable Mentions: Ryan Zimmerman, Alex Rodriguez.

Outfield: Matt Kemp



.297/.352/.490, 26 HR, 101 RBI, 34 SB

Matt Kemp smells like the vault. I'll be honest, he wasa fringe choice until I saw that ESPY outfield. That's how a starting outfielder dresses. Well done, Matt Kemp. Oh yeah, 25 and 100 helped too.

Outfield: Ichiro Suzuki



.352/.386/.465, 11 HR, 46 RBI, 26 SB, 225 H

The internet loves Ichiro Suzuki and I am no different. Surprisingly quotable for a man who speaks very little English, Ichiro is the engine starter for this All-star team. Despite his lowest career total in steals, he's still the ideal leadoff man for this squad and would likely really enjoy playing with a talented team for once. I mean, if Ichiro can have a .386 OBP and fail to score 100 runs for the first time in his whole career, what's a guy to do?

Outfield: Jason Bay


.267/.384/.537, 36 HR, 119 RBI, 103 R

Some well deserved Canadian content as the man from Trail, BC rounds out an amazingly handsome outfield. Playing under the microscope in Boston and filling the shoes of Manny Ramirez is no small task, and the magnitude of his performance is certainly not lost on me. Being a Canadian baseball player who played the majority of his career in Pittsburgh, it's easy to see how someone like Jason Bay could easily go un-noticed. However, the change of scenery to one of the biggest baseball cities on the planet was no big thing for Bay. Numbers like those above are pretty tough to top.

Honourable Mentions: Manny Ramirez, Andre Ethier, Bobby Abreu

Designated Hitter: Adam Lind


.305/.370/.562, 35 HR, 114 RBI

Ture story: I've seen Adam Lind naked, twice. That reasoning aside, Lind was an unstoppable hitting machine this season, one of two Blue Jays hitters who weren't generally terrible all season long. With a ridiculous ability to hit bombs to all fields, Lind broke out this season and smashed his way onto this list.

There it is. The most dominant, unbeatable, handsome, ass kicking lineup of the year.

Now, if I could say something person to baseball: I'm going to miss you, a lot. We had a wonderful summer together. It all started with the WBC. Sure, Canada shat the bed, but remember Canada vs USA? That was the loudest I'd ever seen Rogers Centre. And yeah, my Blue Jays royally shat the bed too, but do you remember the month when they were awesome? AJ vs Doc? That was the most fun I've had at a baseball game in years. As the season wore on, the playoff races heated up and October treated me to some of the most entertaining games I can remember. I'm going to miss you, baseball. It's going to be a long, cold, winter, but I'll be thinking about you the whole time. I love you. Never change.

Sincerely,

Archi.

PS- Maybe you could get me some better Jays players for Christmas? Pretty Please?

Tuesday, November 3, 2009

Leafs & Lightning Insider Info



Tuesday night is the one that everyone had been waiting for since Brian Burke announced the deal in mid September; The debut of Phil Kessel in Toronto. With all the eyes focused on the action at the Air Canada Centre, the paparazzi was out in full force, hoping to catch a glimpse of the star power that assembled to witness this slice of Maple Leafs history.

Naturally, yours truly was first in line to comb through the evidence and give you the breakdown of who brought their 'A' Game on the Proverbial Phil Kessel Premiere red carpet.

Lets start with the visiting Tampa Bay Lightning...


Wow... You want to talk about having a core to build around? Those first 3 pictures are terrifyingly impressive. For Vincent Lecavalier, that's his 'Just another game' look. He's that damn good. Steven Stamkos is looking comfortable and flashy, totally overshadowing Alex Tanguay, who appears to not know how long his tie is supposed to be. As if that's not enough, Viktor Hedman brought back his incredible draft suit, which, as my gorgeous friend Heather points out, "Looks Presidential." Intimidating.

But wait... There's an extra player coming up all by himself...



Wow, Martin St Louis. Wow. He's all like "Phil, who? You should be looking at ME, bitches." As someone who's been short his whole life, Marty had to work extra hard to make it to the NHL level. As you can tell here, St. Louis works to step his game up on all levels. There's a reason he's an All-Star and an MVP. Effort, people. Effort.

Alright, onto the good guys, starting with the 'Grinders'.





Colton Orr should teach a class called "Lessons in facial hair." Fantastic. {PS- I'm on a first name basis with Colton now. I love that name. Colton. Awesome.}

Wayne Primeau shows off with a little colour, combining baby blue with gold and it kind of works. He's got a terrible frame for a suit though. Also, he's the only one who said "Hello" to the cameraman. What a great guy.

Rickard Wallin, meanwhile, continues to be somewhat of an enigma. Some people think he's doing a responsible defensive job, while others complain that he has beer league quality hands. He looks very tall and confident here, and the jacket works very well with the suit.

Moving on up the depth chart, let's look at some of the fresh faced Leaf forwards.




John Mitchell, you sly dog. Is that a fresh haircut and a smirk on your face I see? He must have just told somebody off and it must have felt great. Bonus points for being one of two guys wearing a Poppy. With this nice, new trim and fit, maybe you'll get out from the bottom 6 forwards sometime soon?

Nik Kulemin, your jacket is too big. Are you in over your head? You've got talent, we can all see it. Just look a little more comfortable please, for goodness sakes. You've gotta make the most of an opportunity like this. No more just throwing on a jacket to get it over with, just like you've gotta stop getting your ass benched by Wilson. Step up and get noticed, kid!

Oh Mikey Grabs. Your hair cannot be tamed. I adore it. You went casual with no tie, but the dark-on-dark makes you look kind of dangerous. Can I talk about your hair again? It's awesome. It fits you perfectly. You're a wild man, completely unpredictable but still ridiculous and entertaining. Never cut it. Or wash it.

Alright, so the youth is touch-and-go with flashes of promise, what about the vets?





Listen Toronto: Alex Ponikarovsky just wants you to love him. A Tim Hortons cup? Awesome. The hair? Awesome. The suit? Pimpin. He's the only player on the team with a positive +/-. He's trying hard and it shows. I will continue to be a Poni supporter as long as he's on board. I like his style.

JASON BLAKE YOU LOOK LIKE SHIT. ALL THE TIME. IN EVERY WAY. What a mess.

Matt Stajan, you have the worst hair on the team. And that's saying something, considering he plays with Vesa Toskala and Mikhail Grabovski. It's this gross, thin, slightly balding mess. This is not #1 centre style. Who does he possibly get lined with Phil on opening night with hair like that? Nice tie though, I suppose.

Meanwhile, Lee Stempniak continues to fly under the radar, quietly looking good but unable to take that next step and really 'finish' the look. He's got the tools, he's just not quite there.

Alright, so the Leafs veteran forwards are pretty disappointing (as usual) so let's take a look at the back end.




Promising!

Naturally, the man in the hat is Garnet Exelby. He continues to push his reputation as a no-nonsense bad-ass Mother F'n Gangster. As punishing and tough as Ex is, he's also frequently out of position. In true form, Garnet looks bad ass here, but sadly he's going to a hockey game, not a 1950's Speakeasy. He's flanked by Nik Hagman, who continues to keep it legit.

Hey, how are everyone's Ian White man-crushes coming along? Mine's doing just fine, thanks. As a guy who came out of nowhere last year to earn major minutes, Ian is keeping the evolution coming and is turning into quite the stud. Look at that suit! Look at that facial hair! Awesome.

When we signed Francois Beauchemin in the off-season, this is what I was looking for. Straight-forward, no nonsense, all-business.

Oh, and Luke, can you buy a new suit, please? You look great, of course, but come on buddy. Give me something new.

So we've got a big, strong, tough looking D. What about the man they're sworn to protect?



HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH Oh, Vesa. You aren't the start goalie anymore!

Had to post two pictures, for two reasons:
1- It's hilarious that the group of people won't move for him.
2- He's wearing brown shoes with his black suit. Loser.

But seriously, about the goalie...



Is there any doubt that Jonas Gustavsson is the #1?

Look at that lanky Euro style. Is he a model? He's kind of got that weird-o model look where the person isn't good looking in the traditional sense, but he knows how to give the camera the 'eyes' and he knows how to use the angles of his body to create eye-popping shape. Just like he uses the angles to cut down shooters and his eyes to see above crease crashers to make long saves. You're the man, Monster. I love you.

Had to include a second picture again, this time because a) Jonas totally deserves it, and b) I have to point out that Mike Komisarek never lets his goalie walk alone. While Komi hasn't had the best start in his tenure as a Maple Leaf, it can't be denied that he stands up for his teammates and protects his goalie.

I think that's about it. I can't remember anyone else that bares mention...

OH YEAH...


This is the least goofy pose I could find. I got a bit of the goof grin in there, but you wouldn't believe what a challenge it was to get one where he wasn't whooshing is suit all over the place. Take your hand out of the pocket, Phil! As for the suit, he's not trying to do too much, but he puts his own take on the traditional silver suit. I'm not crazy about the black dress shirt usually, but this works for you. Do what works for you, Phil, that's what I say. And you know what works for you, Phil? Wicked-ass wrist shots from the slot. Go do that. Thanks.

Go Leafs Go.

Wednesday, October 28, 2009

Out of Town Mancrush: James Neal


As a die-hard supporter of the Blue & White, it's often hard for me to accept the fact that other teams have players that may be right up my alley. With NHL's free Centre Ice preview for the month of October, I was able to watch all the out-of-town hockey I could handle and I came away from it with one realization:

I Love James Neal



It started to register early in the season against Nashville, on one incredible shift that started with him delivering a crushing body check to break up a rush and ended with him diving through the air to slot home a rebound. Plain and simple, James Neal wanted it more.

Last week, James' star continued to shine, hilited by two ridiculous wrist shot goals against the LA Kings, shown at 00:01:24 and 00:05:12 of the following video. He blocks a shot and scores on his own rush for the 1st one, and shoots the second one in so hard that it whips out the other side, convincing the officials it must have stayed out.



Naturally, my next move was to scour for pictures and quotes, trying to further justify my adoration. Lo and behold...


James, you've got to work on finding your light. That being said, the same photographer/photo shoot made Luke Schenn look frumpy. Very possibly not his fault. Helluva Nice watch, too!


This is from the All-Star break, where Neal was featured amongst the Youngstars. He's trying, you've got to give him that. Is it just me, or is that tie too short? He needs to work on the way he makes eyes at the camera, there's style in there waiting to burst out.

Alright, so the pictures aren't All-Star calibre, but what about the quotes?

Here's one, from The Hockey News' Getting To Know James Neal...

Hockey Inspiration: "When I was 15 I met Gary Roberts and he took me into his gym - Station 7 in Toronto - and I trained there for three years with him. He helped me out a lot. I'm from Whitby, he grew up in Whitby, too. So it was really nice of him to take me in and help me with little things like that, get me off on the right foot in training. When he got rid of his gym, I started working out with Adam Foote in Whitby. So those are two guys from Whitby, who helped me out a lot throughout my career."

Listing Gary Roberts as hockey inspiration? He's a Leaf Legend!

As if that weren't good enough, check out this Q&A with James Neal from Hockey's Future.

Q: Have you had a welcome to the NHL moment and what was it?

A: Yea, I’m from Whitby, Ontario and, being a Leafs fan growing up - everyone was a die-hard Leafs fan - and playing in the Air Canada Centre against the Leafs was, you know, a moment where you step back and you say ‘Am I really here?’ And I happen to score a hat trick in that game and it was a crazy moment, and something I’ll never forget.
Yes, James. That answer will do just fine.

RFA in 2011, anyone?

Anyone?

{Hey Guys and Girls: Want to write a 'Guest Guide' about something? Sports, Cooking, Music, Fashion, Sex, Relationships, or Something totally different? Feel Free to drop me an email at archi[dot]zuber[at]gmail[dot]com}